DH and Marisol

[vew-tori]

DD has been saving her money for Marisol. We are going to AGPC in June and she was going to get her then. Just this weekend she counted $88 and was very happy she has enough. Meanwhile DH was talking with our PS (we were returning the girl size coconut pants) and mentioned the whole Marisol thing. She said quantities were very low at both stores. So of course he bought her. He wants to give her Marisol for her 1st Communion. I'm torn. Would Marisol mean more if she bought her herself? Should we save her until Chicago? I also worry about my nieces. The oldest is saving to buy Nellie on our trip. They don't have the same opportunities as Tori (in fact my BIL just lost his job and I worry our trip is in jeapordy!) DH was very excited and I kind of shot him down. I'm glad she is getting her but I just don't know when the best time will be. What should we do?

[mayergirl]

I had a similar experience when I was little. I saved and saved and saved for Addy, and just when I had enough for her, my mom brought her out of the closet. She told me that she was so proud of my for saving my money, and that Addy was my reward for having done so well. I guess I was about nine years old. But my mom took that opportunity to tell me all about my savings account, and said that now that I was responsible enough to save for myself, she would let me use it. I put half the money I saved into my savings account and spent the other half on accessories for my new Addy. She's still one of my most special dolls, and I always thought it was a great way to learn about saving. So maybe you could phrase it like that. Give her the doll right before you go, and tell her she can spend half her saved money on things for Marisol at AGP.

[carolinapooh]

Mayergirl, I think that's an excellent idea. I agree! After all, Marisol is going to need new things when she comes home!

[gingerharp]

As a child nothing made me feel more proud than to buy something all on my own. This was because being an only child I was used to having a lot of things I wanted just given to me. However instead of expecting everything to be given to me my dad really installed the message of earning things. He reminds me of a NICE uncle Hendrick. I was allowed to buy anything I earned the money for, even if it was stupid, as long as I had no library fines or anything like that. 10 year olds don't rack up too many bills.
Your husband was sweet to buy Marisol now so your daughter is safe if she sells out. And first Communion is a very special time. I remember my mom made my Samantha a first communion dress, veil, and even found an AG sized bible and rosary.
Maybe you could explain to her about Marisol possibly being sold out and say that your daughter could buy her from your DH. She could give him her money and then it's just like she paid for her, and she could have her for her first communion.

[acorniv]

Good for Tori for saving up for Marisol!

I can see both sides of this - your dh wants to ensure that Tori gets this doll she wants so badly. You want to see that she gets the most out of the experience.

The bottom line of course is that we're raising children to be good citizens and strong adults. You can no doubt guess what any book on teaching your children about money woudl advise - you don't need us for that. The rea question is whether to let the head or the heart to lead this time. I say use the head. If the question was which doll, I'd say the heart. But this time, go with your good sense. You'll like yourself as a parent better later, if you do. I can tell you value this because you've taught your little one to save for things she wants most.

Tori will get a lot more out of buying the doll herself. Not just appreciation for the doll ( for some children getting the doll to mark a momentous event will mean more - that varies) but it will contribute to her self confidence. I think women have always understood the value of this more than men, who traditionally provide for others.

What I have done in the past is go ahead and buy the item if it is genuinely at risk for not being available. I then let my child know I have done so, and let them buy it from me. The tough thing is to not just give in and hand it over - not so easy for softies! Yes, some of the thrill is taken out of the moment of purchase, but my kids have both developed good heads for business, which I think is the better half of the tradeoff. I think it was terrific of your dh to look out for his dd by finding out the availability of the doll and protecting her by buying it when he learned stocks are low. So neither of you are wrong!

In Tori's case she has already saved up all the money she will need. Why not let her buy it now?

Seems to me that a great First Communion gift would be a nice box of accessories, and Marisol has quite a few.

Others?

Popsie

[KariS]

I would keep the Marisol you bought. Then, maybe a couple of days before you are to go to AGP, call a personal shopper and try to get an idea how many are left at the store. If there seems to be no problem with running out, then she can buy her own at the store, and you can either return the one your husband bought while you are there and get some accessories, send it back to AG to get your money back, or resell/gift it later. If, when you call the PS, she says for some reason they are sold out, you can present that to Tori. Tell her Marisol is gone from the store, but if she would like to use her money, you do have one set aside available for her to buy. Or she can use her money to buy a different doll if she wants the thrill of picking one out at the store. I would leave it up to her, but since she saved up and seems proud of it, definitely let her buy the doll on her own.

[dianasmama]

Here's what I would do:

Explain to her the whole system of supply and demand, even Diana gets that at age 5. Tell her how proud you are of her that she has saved up for it and tell her it would be a good idea to order the doll now. Then tell her that if she keeps on saving up till her trip, she might be able to buy some other accessories when you go to Chicago.

When you go to Chicago, you can return the doll that your DH purchased (which was a lovely gesture, BTW!) OR, save it till she really does sell out and then you can sell her on ebay for profit.

I'm also just not sure how one PS knows the stock of both stores or when/if they will or will not be getting more in. I know it's a chance you don't want to take, but this is all quite frustrating with dealing with AG and their shortages. After all, Marisol has only been out for just over 3 months and they're already talking about selling out?

Good news for Tori that she was able to save up so quickly though!

Laurie

[mom_to_an_americangirl]

A slightly different take, but one I would use...

As Dianasmama said, explain supply and demand and tell her you learned that Marisol was getting low in quantity.

Suggest to her that she may (since she already has the money) want to purchase her now, on the internet.

Have her give you the money and go thru the online ordering process up till final checkout and just cancel. She will think the order was placed and then when the box arrives give it to her.

She will have purchased her own doll and you have insured that she will get it. It would be devastating to see it sell out when she has worked so hard for it.

<font color="#051E50" size="1">[ April 05, 2005 10:20 AM: Message edited by: mom_to_an_americangirl ]</font>

[ponydreamer]

Personally, I like the idea of giving Marisol to her for her first Communion. Just be really honest with her, and tell her that daddy bought the doll for her because he was afraid she would be out of stock. It will make her feel good to know that her daddy cares enough to think of such a thing! Let her have the doll before your trip, too.

As far as the money she has saved, I love Mayergirl's idea. Have her put half of it into her savings, and let her have the other half to purchase some things for Marisol.

I know it's hard to try to keep things fair between cousins. So, if your DD is onyl shopping for clothes and accessories, that might help to keep things on an even keel.

My mother is really wise when it comes to issues like this. I know she would tell me to explain the situation, and all the good intentions...then give the child the doll. I know that she would tell me that there are more lessons to be learned in life, than the practical ones. I also know she would tell me to help the child make wise decisions with the money that had been saved. I think all of her six children are now very responsible adults.

Good luck with whatever you decide....

[vew-tori]

All great advice. I'm going to let DH read your posts and we will discuss it and make a decision together. Being an only child things come esily to her - even the money. It's hard to walk that line what's too much. Whatever we decide I'm glad Tori will be getting Marisol and I know she will be loved!